Benson silver

There's nothing worse than an ex-smoker.

Weekender

Friday
I wasn't planning on doing anything on friday except watch Friends and The Simpsons. About half eight the door started knocking, and it was PND and his mate, who had locked themselves out. They brought round a bottle of wine which we drank, then they went out into town. I stayed in.

Saturday
Went round to NZA's with PND, and met GS and LJ there. We went to the Flapper, where we met everyone else, then to a warehouse where there was a party going on. Apparently a load of artists live in this place and occassionally throw parties, with the whole building decorated. Was really good. Left at about six and went to C&H's with GS.

Sunday
C&H had to go to work, so me and GS hung around the house for a little bit then walked home through the park. Back at mine we watched Assault on Precinct 13 in black and white; it added to the oppressivness of the film. H came round after work and we all had power-naps. They left about half eight and i had a little chat with HM2, who has finally come home.

Over the weekend two people lost their wallets and one lost their bag. Fairly successful all in all.

1 4 all

Was watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow (sic, maybe) this morning, and they had some rock band dressed up all old like, like Spinal Tap or someting you get me? They were playing the theme to Dogtanian and the Three Muskahounds. I don't know how relevant it would have been to the eight-twelve year target audience, but it made me smile.



I was slagging iTunes off to everyone earlier, but i've decided it's alright. In fact, i'm quite in love with it. It certainly catalogues things quite intensely. I'm glad i haven't got it on my computer at work.
I didn't like how it fades the songs into each other. I think it's great now. The Faint going into Def Leppard. Hot shit.

Music RIP #2

I was right about the death of music. Blue have split up now, as have Blink 182. Shit.

Music RIP

I note it's a bad day for music, what with the guitarist from Korn quitting. Whoever he is. I expect to see a line of crying, grieving 15 year olds outside the Academy, on some kind of candlelight vigil.

The Dior Prefect left the heating on all night again. Also, the phone bill was £180, because of his spending 4 hours a night in chatrooms. Sometimes i would so rather be living on my own.
HM2 has been away for a week visiting his parents. He was clever and locked his bedroom door before he went, so HM1's party-people didn't go in there and sleep on his bed. When he comes back (HM2) he's going to Canada for a bit, to visit one of his many, many ex-girlfriends. The boy is such a whore.

So. What are you up to this weekend? I'm maybe going to a party on saturday, and food shopping tonight. Apart from that, college work. Excellent. This is a fascinating read, isn't it?

240 songs?

No.
350 songs, 17.8 hours and 954MB. Hot dog.

.co.uk

howies

I was following a link i was sent by someone who works where i work, about an exhibition being put on by Warwick University. Looking in the 'Gallery' (all of the 5 pictures), i was quite pleased to see a photo of none other than David Hieatt, co-founder of howies. This has prompted me to lay down a brief history of my relationship with the wonderful people at howies.
My first howies tshirt was the Home/Work one, with the cheeky "is that it?" on the back. Along with this, i also brought my brother the America's View of The World tshirt. Then i brought an Underachiever hoodie, which is so so comfortable. I also have a pair of howies jeans, although i can't remember which 'model' (and, to be honest, although they are brilliant, they have currently been replaced by the anti-fit Levis my bro got me from San Fransisco) (which is funny, given the threat of legal action by Levis on howies). I also have a green tshirt with the howies logo across the front, which my bro got me when he was buying himself a howies jumper. Copycat.
I am also very pleased to have had maybe three emails from Mr Hieatt.I am now going to type 'howies' a couple more times to make the number even: howies howies.
So. My point is: howies are an authentic company. They work with organic cotton and renewable resources. They employ locally, and if it's sunny let the workers go out to bike, skate or whatever. Their catalogues are also very cool.
Remember where you heard of them first. If you can't, pretend it was here.

Snowballs

Was supposed to be at least 2cm of snow this morning. Barely even 2 nanomillimetres.I walk past a building site on the way to work. Today one of the workmen threw a snowball at me, which landed about five foot away from me. Stupid dumbass. If he'd stayed at school and got some qualifications he would have hit me, instead of being a stupidhead working on a building site because he's so dumb. At five o'clock he probably replaces his hard hat with a burberry cap and gets in his nova listening to Sean Paul to drive home to the bedsit he shares with his mother in Cotteridge.

School drug tests

Apparently, in Scotland, random drug testing on school pupils has led them (the pupils) away from cannabis, which can be easily detected, to using heroin, which can't. Huh. Pot vs. Skag
This kind of thing always seems to happen in Scotland. I've only been once or twice, and at no time in the last fifteen years, but it must be bloody awful up there.

Nimh

Oh, i stepped on a rat the other day. I was in the garden, when i heard a squeaking, which i thought was the back door swinging shut. I went closer to have a look, and the folowing three things happened at once: 1) i felt something under my left foot; 2) i heard another, bigger, squeak; 3) something bigger than a mouse but smaller than a cat legged it off behind me towards the holes under the fence.
It reminded me of The Rats of Nimh, and old Jonathan Frisby.

240 songs

Woo-hoo! iPod Shuffle arrived today. I resisted the urge to take and post loads of pictures of it. Here's what i've got on it (band/artist): Iron & Wine, Superchunk, Sorry About Dresden, Mclusky, Up Up Down Down, Twilight Singers, Cursive. Probably a lot more too.
Handed in that report i was supposed to do for college. Only wrote it this morning, so i hope it's good.

JJ53

Snowed like mad on the way to the bus stop after work, and all the time i was waiting for the bus. It stopped when i got on the bus though. Snow's brilliant.

JJ52

We were promised it would snow today. Charlie Neil said so last night, as did Louise Lear this morning. Normally, where Louise is concerned, i believe everything. Charlie, however, is different, as both Central News weatherladies look the same and i am sure actually are the same person.
Was walking to NZA about bands who are the same age as us. I was saying i hated them all, especially JJ72 (except i couldn't remember their name).

Eat more fruit

Went to bed about half ten last night, cos i was still knackered from the night before. About eleven HM1 came back with a load of people. I thought they'd just be popping in on the way to somewhere else, but then i heard the stereo being taken down. The last time i looked at the clock it was 4.
Someone came all the way up to my room to have a look. I think the neighbours came round to complain as well. This morning the lid of the bin was in the garden and there was candle wax all over the fridge. I cleaned up because HM1 did it for me once before.
Mopped the kitchen floor too. We're even now.
Got up about half nine in order to go food shopping. Foolishly i went to make a cup of coffee before having a shower; the Dior Prefect heard me, and used the time i was in the kitchen to get up and get in the bathroom first. And stayed in there for half an hour.
I've got to write a reflective statement about everything i've learned at college and how i've applied it to my working life. Needs to be in on tuesday. Must do it today.

The NZA

PND and i went to NZA's last night, and then on to a house party in Stechford somewhere. On the way we had to go through Cotteridge; ever been? Why would a mother let her two pre-teen boys razor-shave their heads? Burberry should probably open big shop there.
I think i was being pulled by a guy. We all had a dance and some snacks and came home. Was good.

Notes to self

1. Be erect by half past ten.
2. Stop texting/ringing people when you're on any drugs.

Emoticon

Spent most of today on msn messenger with GS and NZA, who kept disappearing. Got a copy of The Murder of Rosa Luxemberg's album.

Scaffold problems

It took me two hours to get home yesterday, cos some dumbass scaffolder decided to drop something off a big building and cause all the roads to be closed in the city centre. Dumbass. Wouldn't have minded but the batteries ran out in my cd player. CD PLAYA. Just ordered an iPod Shuffle today though. Not that that will make any difference to the life of batteries.
Went to Sugarfoot Stomp in the evening with the usuals. IND was pissed off that we had to go when it shut, but as i explained, not everyone is a teacher and gets to not go to work today. Had a nice chat with GS about my dream-girl: i think we concluded that i should just start talking to people more. Maybe be a little more friendly.

!!!

I have exorcised some demons.

???

I'm starting to question the motivations of some people i know. I think i'm getting too paranoid.

Up Up Down Down etc

I feel i should let you know about this band. They are very very very cool. I can't remember how i came across them, but cannot imagine how i lived without them. Steve Poponi, i love you. Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start

Boycott Argos update

Argos were supposed to have come round and picked up the big box yesterday. I don't know if they did or not cos i wasn't in, and i don't remember seeing it in my way when i did get in. Or seeing it this morning. Maybe it's gone, or maybe i'm just blocking it out like a bad childhood memory.

I've just been blessed by a big dragon outside. Something to do with Chinese New Year. I feel much better for it.

Early birthday present

If you're wondering what to get me for my birthday, anything by Macbeth would be cool. Vegetarian only, mind. Thanks.

What not to do

Did i mention about the Dior Prefect's determination to have the heating on 24 hours a day? Here is a list of other things that he does that annoys me:

1. Heating on all the bloody time
2. Toilet paper in the toilet (like, unused toilet paper)
3. Spending 75% of the time in the bathroom (there's four of us in the house, so we should get 25% each)
4. Leaving the tv on standby, instead of turning it off properly
5. Leaving the digital box on the ITV News channel or FTN or some other shite music channel
6. Having a badge that says 'Dior Prefect'
7. Having an ugly, fetid, smelly fur blanket that he leaves in the lounge spread out over the sofa
8. Stealing half my shelf in the fridge and putting the most god-awful food on it

Many more will come i'm sure. I'm not copying the Reasons I Hate My Housemate blog. So there.

Mark Lanegan loves me

First day back at work after two days off, and i was in at 8.40! First time in before nine since, well, ever. There's no-one else here yet so i've been dancing round the office like a fool. Hopefully my friend Pinhead will be here today - haven't seen him for ages since i broke his foot. Actually i didn't break it, and neither did he. Just hurt it. He did. Not me.
Keep having dreams about a girl i know. Last night Cursive were involved as well.
Go to Sugarfoot Stomp at the Sunflower Lounge tomorrow if you're in Birmingham. Free sweets!

Toad the mushroom

I won on Mario Party. Waluigi is the king of all.
Didn't lose any memory over the weekend so all's good. Feeling very generous, i gave the taxi driver a £1.50 tip for the four minute journey to the station.My new favourite station is Bristol Temple Meads. Maybe it's because the toilets are free, and at Birmingham New Street they're not. Who knows. Portsmouth & Southsea is quite small. Reading's just Reading.
Didn't go to work so got to listen to both Pop Master and The Big Quiz. Did really well on both.

The zip is on the right

Going to Reading with the brilliant Virgin trains today, then driving down to Portsmouth with Richard. I'm taking Business Casual and Let It Rest to listen to on the journey. I'm such a Saddle Creek whore. Taking my sleeping bag too! I've had it a couple of years and the only person that's used it is my cousin.

I like your shoes

Watched Top of the Pops earlier. What the fuck is going on.

Boycott Argos

On the 8th November i bought something on Argos' website. Realising it was the wrong thing, i then cancelled it. However, they delivered it, and because i wasn't in the Dior Prefect signed for it. So i emailed them again, asking them to come and pick it up. And i emailed them again. And again. Now i have about twenty reference numbers and there's still a big box in my hallway.
So i've just emailed them again:

Hello!
Thank you for answering my email within 48 hours. Admittedly i had to go all the way downstairs, through the bramble patch, across the busy main road and over the rickety wooden bridge to get it, and even then it was just a reference number.In fact, i can hardly remember why i emailed you in the first place. Oh yes, it was to try and get you to come and pick up the huge box that you delivered after i cancelled the order. Oh, and to get you to give me my money back.
So. Any joy?

I wonder what their response will be. Probably another reference number to put on the pile. Sweet.

Alte schule

I was watching one of the school's programmes on Channel 4. It was about some bunch of little skateboarders who were campaigning to get their borough council to build them a skate park. Anyway, this little kid was going on about what music he liked, and he said "..and old school rock like AC/DC" (maybe it was old skool). Right, for a start AC/DC are not old school. AC/DC are so current. Unless i'm getting old. Shit.

Define: idiot

Two people were in the shower during my alloted time this morning. Not together, but one after the other. Bastards. Much as i love steamy smelly bathrooms with hair all over the bath, it's not ideal first thing in the morning.
Had a big go at someone i live with re: putting loads of toilet paper down the toilet. I was threatening him with making him unblock it if it got blocked, which it didn't. Damn. If the little tyke wants to spend so much time in the bathroom why doesn't he ever clean it. In fact, why doesn't he ever do anything round the house? Fucking 'Dior Prefect'.

Do you want a fight? I'll even hold your coat for you. Meet you outside at four, we'll have a quick scrap and then go home for The Simpsons.

You're not going to find this funny

but i was listening to the comedy half hour on Radio 4 last night. Don't know what it was, but here's a partly-remembered exchange from it:
Guy 1: Don;t you remember last year when the evil Dr Something tried to take over the world with really evil somethings?
Guy 2: (scornfully) Of course i remember it. You don't forget something like that.
You probably had to be there.

Also happened to listen to Mark Radcliffe on Radio 2. He played Iron & Wine's new single, and then Lou Barlow's. I&W was very loud compared to other stuff. Lou Barlow was very dad-rock.

My projected day

7.30am: got up, waited for whoever was in the bathroom to get out, smoked a cigarette while waiting, also made a cup of tea which didn't help the bladder situation.
7.45am: shower, second cup of tea, second cigarette, spent some time with Natasha Kaplinski and Carol Kirkwood.
8.20am: bus to work.
9.00am - 5.20pm: work.

Excellent. This is what blogging is about.

So loads of people got crushed and one man got stabbed rushing to buy Ikea's £45 leather sofas. I wonder what Douglas Coupland would make of that. It's also nice to see that Charles and Camila are getting married. It leaves me warm inside.

Brits 2005: The winners

BBC NEWS Entertainment Music Brits 2005: The winners

Where do i start? The answer is: I'm not going to. I remember when no proper 'artists' would ever do the Brits, because it was just an industry backslapping excercise. What changed? They're all whores and i hate them all. When i get offered my Brit award for outstanding achievements in haircare i'm going to leave it in the toilets. That'll show them.

The reason...

Anyway. I decided to start this again after reading the Kasabian bit on this blog. I thought the world needs more inane dribbling from another faceless non-entity. More hours spent in front of the computer, pouring out my soul and being amazingly funny, which no-one is going to see, read or appreciate.

Tom Selleck ugly face

Once i tried to grow a moustache like Tom Selleck. It didn't work out too well. There is photographic evidence but it's no longer easily accessible. In the meantime, why not save the above picture, print it out on some Avery address labels and start a sticker campaign. That's just what Birmingham needs: more pointless gorilla marketing.

Walking

Today i received my Walkers Crisps step-measuring thing. I've done 2,565 steps already and i've only been awake for ten minutes. The postman had done an incredible 10,432.